God Speaks To Me.....

Does God ever speak to you?? I never used to think that he spoke to me, but as I got older, I realized that even though I don't hear his voice, He does speak to me, a lot actually. He speaks to me through my own heart by compelling me to do things for others.  He speaks to me through my conscience to show me the right way, and to teach me to live the way He wants me to. My biggest regret is that I don't always listen, because sometimes I second guess myself. You see, Satan can also speak to me and compel me to do things and sometimes it can be confusing because it isn't always obvious.

About a year ago, I was in the bank depositing some money. I decided to keep $100 in my wallet because I needed gas and was running a few other small errands. As I was waiting in line, I overheard a guy talking to the customer service employee about his ATM transaction and some problem that he was having. He said that he was try to deposit $10 and something hadn't worked out. I thought to myself, "do people really deposit $10??" Don't get me wrong, there are times where I only have $10 to my name, but I don't know if I would make the effort to go take such a small amount to the bank. When you have two kids in the car, even running to the ATM seems like a huge task! Anyway, as I stood there, all of a sudden I heard "GIVE HIM $100". It was in my own voice, so it was more like a thought, except I felt overwhelmingly compelled to open my wallet to this total stranger.

I instantly thought "yeah right!!I'm not giving away $100! $20, maybe, $10 absolutely, but not $100!" I questioned if the thought was coming from God, or if it was just myself feeling bad for the guy. So I lingered around second guessing myself.  I finished my transaction and walked toward the door. I took the money out and decided "Ok, I'll do it". I thought about what the heck I was going to say to this guy.  Would he think I was crazy if I walked up to him and said "Here, I`m supposed to give you this". What if he didn't take it? I decided to just wing it and see what happened. I looked up, and he was gone.

For the next few days, I completely dwelled on it. I felt like I had let God down by not just trusting him and obeying Him. I thought of all of the reasons he may have needed that money. Even now a year later, I wish I would have just given it to him, without hesitation.

So today, I had a craving for fried rice from the Chinese Garden. Danny went to stay at his brother's in Galt, so I decided to call in and order the rice for dinner and pick it up while I was running errands in town. The rice smelled sooo yummy, I couldn't wait to eat it. I stopped at the bank to deposit a check in the ATM. I was getting back in the car when I saw the door to the wall that surrounds the dumpster swing open. A little old lady walked out. She was homeless. She proceeded to pull her cart and all of her blankets out and sat on the curb. That's when I heard "the voice" again. I thought, "NOOOO! Not my fried rice!" I wished I had cash to give her, but I didn't. I tugged back and forth with myself and even stooped as low as to think "Well, she wont be able to eat it because she wont have a fork!" At that moment I opened my glove box and NO JOKE, a spork fell out!  So I gave up and said to myself "Damn it!! ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! But I am keeping my fortune cookies!"  I thought of the guy and the $100 and decided I better not second guess God or I will be thinking about it for another year.

I walked over to the lady and asked her if she was hungry. She said she was so I handed her my paper bag. She said "thank you" as I walked away. I got in the car and before I even left the parking lot, she was already enjoying my dinner. When I got to the stop light, I took out my fortune cookie and it read "Be Generous, and the favor will be returned."  God spoke to me by compelling me to give the woman something to eat, then gave me the confirmation I needed through my fortune.   Some people may think it was a coincidence, but is it odd that my other three fortune cookies had no fortunes in them at all?

 Leftover Mexican food for dinner it is!

Goodnight!